Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
Randomize
