They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Randomize
