Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
meet me or not, i'm out of control
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
You had me at "let me see your balls"
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
Randomize
