My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
ttyl tear gas
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
Randomize
