I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
Last night I had a dream we played Uno and had sex. You won at Uno, but you lost at sex.
Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
Randomize
