I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
He's a Shit stain on my heart
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
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