This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
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