i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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