i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
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