does your mom think i'm crazy? i just realized i played both the gay dad and the ex-jew card tonight. i blame the wine
I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
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