My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
Don't tell me you're on acid again
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Randomize
