Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
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