shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
Randomize
