I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
