Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
where does the pee come out of this thing
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
Randomize
