weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
Randomize