Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
Randomize
