You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
Randomize
