Hello Stephanie, you need to come pick me up at Par Blvrd correctional facility and bring $750-$1000 for bail. I just got a DUI. Thank you.
What!?!?! How are you txting?!
Because this is Officer Reynolds, and I just arrested your boyfriend.
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
