Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
We're not piercing ourselves today.
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
