id be glad to
i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
we're so committed to being not committed
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
Randomize
