Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
Randomize
