I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
This spray tan I used isn't working out. I spent an hour exfoliating and rubbing the damn stuff in with rubber gloves. I wanted the alluring, sun-kissed, sexy look. I've achieved smelling like burnt popcorn and the cats won't stop licking me. I'm a salt lick for cats.
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
Randomize
