i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
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