what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Randomize
