i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
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