i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
Randomize
