remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
Randomize
