You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
