Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
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