I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
Randomize
