I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
Randomize
