I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
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