I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
I'm determined to sit on that face.
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
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