Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
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