I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
I just followed up on a noise complaint...only to find 2 girls in bikinis covered in jello with beer cans everywhere. I couldn't bring myself to bust that party.
I want to be a cop.
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Randomize
