the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
Randomize
