Non-Jews are for practice
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
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