It's Friday. Sex?
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
Just had a pleasant conversation with a mugger while he was taking off my shoes. Why can't I get along with people like this sober?
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
Randomize
