So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
Randomize
