marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
Where did you get a picture of my penis
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
Randomize
