Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
Randomize
