This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
Randomize
