This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
Randomize
