He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
Randomize
