I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
i am craving dick and cupcakes
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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