Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
Omg. I'm living macklemores best life. I have someone's granddads dog, I'm about to have someone's grandmas car. I look incredible.
Randomize