you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
