My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
her vagina looked like bernie madoff
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
i think my cat just said my name.
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
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