Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
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