yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
Randomize
