is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
Sorry about my sloppy drunk texts. I'm not sure talking about banging a near dead Jimmy Stewart was my finest moment
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
Randomize
