I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
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