I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
There are leaves in my underwear?
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
