This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
First Peyton Manning retires, and now the most interesting man in the world is retiring for Dos Equis. This is the worst week of my fucking life.
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
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