if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
he just fucked me for my cheese..
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
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