i need an iv and a liver transplant
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
It's no shave November. This is our time.
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Randomize
